So, I was in this local bikini contest a few weeks back. First place wins $500 cash (i really needed the money for upcoming xmas gifts). Unfortunately I lost . Normally I wouldn’t be a sore looser cuz u can’t win them all but godammit I fucking am! Considering whom I lost to! I’m not saying that I should have gotten first place but I didn’t even place at all!

I think the contest was rigged or something. The two girls who won first/second place both worked at the bar where the contest was held. If I had known that prior to entering I wouldn’t have entered in the first place and let me tell you the two who won 1^st and 2^nd place didn’t even do shit on stage. They just walked on and walked off. At least the black girl did the splits and the tall blond was kidna cute so kudos to her for 3rd place. I had a whole routine…I came out in a dress shirt and a black fedora and did this lil strip-tease and then to top it off for my finally…I poured all this glistering water all over my tits/bod. 

O well, I guess u can’t win them all. (click on the pics for a larger view)

this is what I look like when I take a dump

this girl won freakin (nice k-mart bikini) 1st place

 I think I entered in the wrong contest. I must have entered in the “I have the best pasty white bod w/ cellulite on my ass, thunder thighs, and don't forget my awesome Jheri curl!” contest by mistake.

Ok ok, I'm being mean :P I'm sure she's super duper nice like that retard you know down the street from you but wtf

2nd place

3rd place

the two LOSERS :( who didn't even place at all (yes, i'm a hater but i can't help it this time)

The Judges I wonder if the judges were smokin crack or had on some beer goggles that night.

PS. Thanks to all my friends who came out to support me that night. You guys ROCK! =D

I just found all these tight ass Star Wars things online that I really want but the one that really caught my eye was this...

R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle is too good not to be mentioned.

**The things you can make with dollar bills